Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
