They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
