And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize