Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
