oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
