he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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