I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize