I think I won the penis lottery.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
