what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
