At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
