so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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