Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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