I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
