Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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