u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
