If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
