We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
