that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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