I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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