I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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