Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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