one two three fourrrrnication!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
