You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
