this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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