none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
