Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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