there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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