My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
