The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
