I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
