i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Congratulations! We have a period
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
