i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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