i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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