Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
