My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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