"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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