before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
