i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
