Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
