I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
