your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
