Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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