It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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