Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so that wasnt chicken after all
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
