normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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