You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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