just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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