I have demons in me.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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