just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
