Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
