I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
