please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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