We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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