Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
