so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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