he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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