not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
