Small penises have feelings too.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
