You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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