Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
